Goo Patrol
by Kathleen Meyer
March 2013
March 2013
Early this morning seventeen marauding wild turkeys trooped into our yard, prompting me to dash out—still in my nightgown—on an erratic zigzagging course, barking like a pack of all-sized dogs, flapping my arms, and, finally, in exasperation at their meandering only a few feet away, letting loose an operatic scream that sent them skyward over the cattails. The big feathery beasts habituate so readily to my scare tactics, I’m forever challenged to add new acts. Guttural gorilla talk oo-oo-oo worked for barely a week.
If these none-too-lovely bird-brains were not snorting up pounds of expensive sunflower seed and laying down a slippery carpet of twirly goo—unlike the ninety-two well-mannered quail who visit from the river bottom—my heart would open to them. Still and all, I’m grateful for the health benefits of wild turkeys. They get my blood moving at top speed before breakfast, which cuts my coffee requirements in half. And if I could develop a bit more proficiency with the sling-shot (a Christmas present), I might cut the grocery bill in half.
If these none-too-lovely bird-brains were not snorting up pounds of expensive sunflower seed and laying down a slippery carpet of twirly goo—unlike the ninety-two well-mannered quail who visit from the river bottom—my heart would open to them. Still and all, I’m grateful for the health benefits of wild turkeys. They get my blood moving at top speed before breakfast, which cuts my coffee requirements in half. And if I could develop a bit more proficiency with the sling-shot (a Christmas present), I might cut the grocery bill in half.
Cute birds? Maybe, one at a time.
Now they are a weedy species. Prolific beyond belief. Pests!
As species continue to go extinct, the world will be left with those that are weedy, or versatile enough to reproduce at an alarming rate. That is, cockroaches, kudzu, flies, starlings, wild turkeys, and, of course the weediest of them all, humans.
* I’ve since been schooled in the California quail’s being an introduced species in Montana (brought in by upscale fancy “ranchers”—also from out of state—for fancy bird hunting), and they’re displacing lots of native birds who must vie for food and habitat. Yuk! Time to quit feeding those adorable bouncing quail.
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Goo Patrol
by Kathleen Meyer
March 2013
March 2013
Early this morning seventeen marauding wild turkeys trooped into our yard, prompting me to dash out—still in my nightgown—on an erratic zigzagging course, barking like a pack of all-sized dogs, flapping my arms, and, finally, in exasperation at their meandering only a few feet away, letting loose an operatic scream that sent them skyward over the cattails. The big feathery beasts habituate so readily to my scare tactics, I’m forever challenged to add new acts. Guttural gorilla talk oo-oo-oo worked for barely a week.
If these none-too-lovely bird-brains were not snorting up pounds of expensive sunflower seed and laying down a slippery carpet of twirly goo—unlike the ninety-two well-mannered quail who visit from the river bottom—my heart would open to them. Still and all, I’m grateful for the health benefits of wild turkeys. They get my blood moving at top speed before breakfast, which cuts my coffee requirements in half. And if I could develop a bit more proficiency with the sling-shot (a Christmas present), I might cut the grocery bill in half.
If these none-too-lovely bird-brains were not snorting up pounds of expensive sunflower seed and laying down a slippery carpet of twirly goo—unlike the ninety-two well-mannered quail who visit from the river bottom—my heart would open to them. Still and all, I’m grateful for the health benefits of wild turkeys. They get my blood moving at top speed before breakfast, which cuts my coffee requirements in half. And if I could develop a bit more proficiency with the sling-shot (a Christmas present), I might cut the grocery bill in half.
Cute birds? Maybe, one at a time.
Now they are a weedy species.
Prolific beyond belief. Pests!
As our planetary species continue to go extinct, the world will be left with those that are weedy, versatile enough to reproduce at an alarming rate. That is, cockroaches, kudzu, flies, starlings, wild turkeys, and, of course the weediest of them all, humans.
* I’ve since been schooled in the California quail’s being an introduced species in Montana (brought in by upscale fancy “ranchers”—also from out of state—for fancy bird hunting), and they’re displacing lots of native birds who must vie for food and habitat. Yuk! Time to quit feeding those adorable bouncing quail.
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© 2011 by Author Kathleen Meyer • All Rights Reserved
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© 2011 by Author Kathleen Meyer • All Rights Reserved
Web site design by RapidRiver.us